Big Congratulations to the North Carolina Courage for beating the Portland Thorns 3-0 to be crowned your NEW CHAMPIONS! In a rematch of last seasons championship game, North Carolina went and got their revenge, all up in Portlands home stadium. Paul Riley laid it all out on the line and receive what the Courage deserved. They absolutely dominated this season with only 1 loss in their 26 games this season. Oh, and btw, they went and stuffed it down Olympique Lyonnais throats in the ICC. And of course, the FIFA committee went and gave the OL coach, Reynald Pedros the FIFA Best Women’s Soccer coach of the year.
Now I’m not saying that he didn’t deserve the award. In fact, OL themselves only lost 1 game this year, on their way to a Women’s UEFA Champions League and French League Title. HOWEVA, that loss came to the hands of Riley and the Courage. So, you explain this to me FIFA, Do you not have to beat the Man to be the Man? Did Riley not do that? Look, I get it, sure Lyon has only lost 4 games in the last two season, and maybe that loss to NCC was only a friendly, but when will the US get some love from ya? I mean, for crying out loud, Lynn Williams 14 goals and 5 assist this season 11 more goals accounted for than Marta who just won Woman’s Player of the Year. Only Sam Kerr accounted for more goals this season. Even Lyon’s Ada Hegerberg scored 42 goals in 25 games last season and came second to Marta. That’s FIFA for you. A bunch of idiots not knowing how to run an organized sport nor an awards ceremony correctly. “Yeah let’s start the show with Man’s not hot, and let Stringer Bell say shitty jokes that bomb all night long.”
But I digress, NC Courage looked unstoppable as they clean sheeted their opponents through the NWSL playoffs. Jess Mcdonald got a brace during the final which sealed her the game MVP. Now, I do want to talk about the NWSL trophy itself. I mean, I can’t think of a worse looking trophy in sports. Alright, maybe getting a bowl full of oranges is the worst trophy in sports, but when you think championship, you think shiny, big, and maybe even resembling a penis. The NWSL trophy doesn’t exactly yell, “hey look, we just grinded our asses off all season and get to stick this trophy all up in your grill this offseason.” It’s more of a, “hey, we did a good job and respectfully appreciate your competition this season.” No! NWSL, I would appreciate if you go back to the drawing board on this one.
There you have it folks. About 4 or 5 run on sentences, and awful grammar, but someone has to say something about the lack of attention the NWSL gets from FIFA. We’re not the best soccer league in the world for no reason. Join me next time when I rant on how Salah gave half his Liverpool paycheck to win the Puskas Goal of the season award.