The return of the MLS can only mean one thing. The return of Liga MX homers talking about MLS being “crap” or “second-tier” blah blah blah bullshit. Apart from them being morons, as CCL would tell, they are wrong morons.
Speaking of wrong morons, your back to this outrageous, bad takes filled, no humor ass website. To read whom I will predict to win MLS’ 25th season. If you’ve ever read a blog on this site, you’d notice that every time I get a chance, I like to remind you that I’ve correctly predicted the last 2 MLS Champs. Not that it’s some incredible feat, but I’m kind of a genius for that.
Which brings us to this season. The 25th year of MLS’s life. Unlike human males, I am not expecting the league to have a quarter-life crisis, and get some sort of tattoo that somehow has a lot of meaning to them. If you are new to this site, which you probably are, I promise this content doesn’t get any better. So unless you’re trying to forgo 1 iced latte a month for some paywall, subscription, bullshit website, I would rather not hear the complaints. But anyway:
The Supports’ Shield (aka the ‘probably not winning the MLS Cup’ Shield)
I should say, this is 100 percent, not because of Chicharito. He’s probably going to have a decent year. 20 goals might be a stretch for him. But with Katai and Pavon alongside him, and possibly a loan move in the summer, I’m not ruling out the Galaxy scoring 70+ goals this season.
The key for this to happen is not giving up, oh let’s say, 59 goals again. I can’t even appreciate the effort they did in improving the defense. A fullback past his prime was all they could muster? I get they spent a lot of dough on Chicharito but c’mon. Not even a trade or anything?
The ‘Casper the Ghost’ Invisible Player Award
Award to the player that’ll be non-existent this season. Not to say Alejandro Pozuelo will suck, on the contrary, I think he’ll have a decent year. It is just when you don’t meet expectations because they’re set a little too high, you get labeled as having a down year.
I think, unfortunately, Pozuelo is getting this award. After leading Toronto FC to the finals, and placing in the MLS Best XI, he kind of is expected to repeat this. While it obvious that it’s no easy task, I think missing Bradley for some time will hurt Pozuelo stock. Sorry (not sorry) TFC fans.
The “Look Good, Feel Good, Play Good” Award
https://twitter.com/NERevolution/status/1225245084955947009?s=20
I might be in the minority that thinks New England Revolution’s jersey is awesome. A nod to the hideous shit the Revs had in their early days but in a nice clean version. I love that of recent teams have begun to incorporate advertising with the uniforms. Maybe it is subtle but the red letters on the white background is fuego.
Speaking of fuego, Bruce Arena is back for a whole season with an MLS team. I’m sneakily excited to see what the Revs can pull off this season. If Buksa, Bou, and Gil can create a strong bond quickly, I think we’re looking at one of the best trios of the MLS and easily some championship contenders.
The “Bad, but not as bad as 2019 FC Cincy Bad”
If you got a chance to read my blog for Vancouver, which by the way, I’m pissed I never got to finish my team by team previews, you’d see why exactly I hate the Whitecaps this season. To sum it up, Marc Dos Santos is definitely getting fired, he’ll probably spew some shit about the execs being Mickey Mouse owners or something like that.
I have nothing against the man, nor do I hold a grudge on Vancouver. In fact, the city looks fucking awesome and I’d love to visit someday. But ideally, not this season, because BC Place is gonna see some NSFW bloodbaths this season.
The ‘Giovinco Newcomer of the Year’
https://twitter.com/SoundersFC/status/1233249843461574657?s=20
I think people will be surprised to not see me give this award to Chicharito. After I all, I kinda idolized him for the last 10 years. I just think the opportunity that Joao Paulo is coming into is far better than Cheech. Unlike Cheech where LA Galaxy’s success is directly correlated to how well he plays, Paulo is coming to the reigning champs.
Where expectations this season were to go all out for the CCL. Unfortunately, they shat the bed on penalties, meaning they might not lose a game in the next 10 matches. Paulo slotting behind Lodeiro and Ruidiaz, alongside Svensson means anyone facing Seattle this season is in BIG DANGER.
The “Oh Shit! Where’d They Come From?” Award
I caught a few side-eyes for my comments on Chicago Fire, but I will be sticking by my guns. Maybe it’s my Chicago bias, scratch that, it’s definitely my Chicago bias giving the Fire a lift. I want them to win not only for my city but because I’d be justified in splurging on multiple tickets this season.
Putting my bias aside, I think that the bringing in of Gimenez, Aliseda, Medran, and Beric, are some sneaky big moves. They all, with the exception of Gaston, could turn out to be flops. But the new logo is enough disappointment for a season. We can have the signings be shit too. For that, a top 3 finish in the east just might happen.
The MVP of the season
Raul Ruidiaz is a tank up top. I think Vela could take this award home if he again can score 30+ goals, but that ain’t happening. I think Ruidiaz has a fantastic year. I’m predicting a Golden Boot out of him on his way to an MLS MVP. Sure Seattle isn’t winning the CCL, but having the 2nd best striker in the MLS can soothe the ego.
MLS Champions
PORTLAND TIMBERS
Yeah, you definitely did not see that coming. I know the haters will say that this is the year that I’ll be wrong. Hey, whatever tickles their fancies. In the meantime, I’m gonna cover my own ass, and say this: I’m not 100% sold on this prediction. Not because LAFC or Atlanta are gunning for the title, but because I think another team has almost an equal amount of chance to win this season.
And that team is the Columbus Crew. You’re probably looking for my local weed dispensary asking for “what he’s having.” It seems weird to say that a big market team that has spent millions and millions on their rosters won’t win it this year. I’m glad really. I don’t know if I can take the corny LAFC fans celebrating a championship so soon. No, I root for chaos.
So here’s my prediction. Either Portland will win, OR Columbus will win. But they won’t play each other. Fair Enough. I’ll leave you with my predicted MLS Best XI because why not. I think this MLS Season can be one of those seasons that changed the course of MLS history. So take every minute of it in. Celebrate the 25th. And remember FUCK THE SALARY CAP!
