Hey everybody! You may be thinking, boy oh boy, look at this lazy piece of trash, and you’d be right. Soccer is evolving to being apart of that elite group of sports in America, and I have put almost no effort to improving this site. I too hate myself for it. I can sit here and go through a million different excuses as to why i haven’t posted on here nor the Instagram @BackupAllStars but non would be sufficient. I’m sad I missed Morgan’s 100th goal and just about everything USL. But for the sake of helping me sleep at night, let’s pretend that Alex Morgan just scored that hundred goal. Kay? Cool.
Congratulations to Alex Morgan on her 100th goal. It’s great to see another American eclipse the 100th international goals club. That makes it 7 Americans on that list. She joins Carli Lloyd, Abbey Wambach, Tiffeny Milbrett, Kristine Lilly, Michelle Akers, and the GOAT(?) Mia Hamm on the list. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Hmmm, I wanna marry Alex Morgan,” but you’re also thinking, “we already have 7? Is it even that impressive anymore?” I cannot stress this enough, THAT SHIT IS F*CKING NUTS!! You do realize only 1 man has reached 100+ international goals ever. Let me repeat that ONLY 1 DUDE HAS EVER GOTTEN 100+ GOALS!
I’ve seen some of the greatest players ever, Ronaldo, Messi, Henry, Dinho, Klose, CR7…etc. None of them have scored over 100 goals international. Cristiano Ronaldo is the closest to that feature with 85 goals. In an era where we have international competitions coming out of every crack on earth. I mean we just finished the PuntinMania X8 and we are already onto Copa America and Gold Cup, plus the recent addition of the UEFA Nations League. I think if I were to try and guess which male makes it to 100 international goals next, I’d be a basic bitch and throw out Kylian Mbappe or Neymar. I mean, both scored ten goals for their countries before the age of 20. Neymar is already at 60 at 27yo and Mbappe isn’t even close to the halfway point of his career.
In honor of her 100th goal, I’m gonna bless you with my favorite Alex Morgan goals. Again, these are my favorite goals, not her best goals.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZD5Hqh82KM?start=79]
For sure her most iconic goal. One of the greatest games of all time. The goal that guaranteed the US a Silver medal finish for women’s soccer. Gotta love it!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpAE3-5Y9Qg?start=303]
Classic Boob goal. The haters will call it a chest goal but it’s a boob goal. What? Don’t judge me! It is what it is!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccTvUHdVtOs]
For my money, her best goal ever. Skill wise, only very little people on earth would score that. No, I don’t mean dwarfs, I mean like a limited amount of people. Such a dope goal.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLmDqyZkrig]
Ah, goal number 99. Yeah, another boob goal. Sue me.
But on a serious note, she’s had an illustrious career, and it’s an honor to have followed it. Here’s to many more goals. Thank You Alex Morgan!!
P.S. Please Marry Me!