If you, like me, spend preposterous amounts of time on that stupid tweety app, you’d probably have come across this sad, sad story. Enter one Mr.(?) Charlie Kennan. A person who had gained a nice little following for his coverage on Men’s Youth National Team prospects, or as he’d probably refer to them, US Soccer Cuties.
Charlie seemed like a simple person at first glance. A few highlights of Gio Reyna here, a dash of Uly Llanez there. Just a plain old fashion Twitter Egg on the timeline. But what we had yet to discover, was a sick, twisted, and insane person that, lets be honest, we just ignored the warning flags of a creepy guy that watched teenagers play soccer for a hobby.
Sometime around Sunday, Charlie put out this sad and disheartening tweet.
This is what looked like a very tough break for what seemed to be a young fellow, a handsome one if I may say so myself. It was the first time anyone on the timeline seen Charlie’s face. He was never one to tweet about his personal life. So it seemed even disheartening whe your first glimpse of the guy is presumable hours after he learned the tragic news.
Very quickly, USMNT Twitter began to band together to offer their best wishes to Charlie. Personally, I couldn’t think of anything good to say in a reply, so I just hearted the post and a couple replies and went on with my day, thinking about how fortunate I am to be in good health and how everyone in my close circle are so as well.
We saw the community come out in droves. Everyone was probably still in their community mindset after they all came together to shit on Ochoa during Saturday’s CCL semifinal. But we some even more prominent figures reaching out to wish Charlie the best.
What started as a sad and tragic news, began to shift into a story of hope and inspiration. One where we all rooted together for Charlie to go and kick Cancer’s ass. He even got a nice DM from the Texas Machine himself Weston McKennie wishing the best.
But late last night, we got a plot twist so big, that M. Night Shyamalan decided he has to retire now. A tweet to put things into motion that turned Charlie Kennan from an inspiration to a true piece of shit person.
How could this be? How could a person stoop so low, as to fake having brain cancer. I mean, look, we’ve all had that fake “girlfriend/boyfriend” that we had during summer break when we were kids. But to fake cancer!?!? CANCER! The shit that has taken people’s family and friends away. The shit that has killed millions and millions.
Is it so hard to just be a decent civilized human being for once? Is that so hard. Like dude you probably could have gotten away with faking COVID, which you wouldn’t have been the first piece of shit to fake. That’s askking for a whole lot of bad karma. I’m just glad the other guy found out about this catfish shit. Imagine if he’d have been able to start a GoFundMe and all. He’d be cashing more checks than Manti Teo’s ex-girlfriend.
So you may be wondering how the fuck this is gonna help us win a World Cup? Well, it’s proved that we are more than ready to start and end that journey. That our fearless warriors on the field are all in with this nations soccer team and it’s fans. That this teams fans can show compassion, and heart, and will come together at the drop of a hat. That when one of us is having a rough time, we will do our best to help. Now all we need to do is agree on a single take about Jordan Morris.