Listen to me when I say, this is a tough blog to write. How do you even shoe in a team to finish top 5 in their conference, when their best acquisition was a 32-year-old forward that score 10 goals in 30 games last year? Not great. Oh, and their new head coach has zero experience at a professional club.
It’s a tough job to convince Dynamo fans that it’ll be a playoff year in 2020, no less trying to convince you. But I sure as hell am gonna give it the old college try.
You’ll always have March-April…
The Good: Albert Ellis and Mauro Manotas didn’t get sold.
The Bad: I don’t know if they played the “James Harden owns us” card enough. Also, yeah the team stunk.
Dynamo’s Spongebob Gif
I don’t know if anyone can get a good read on the Dynamo this season. Nor can I. The safe play is saying they’ll finish out the playoffs again, and Ramos will somehow finish the season even if they played really, really bad. Or the opposite can happen. Ellis, Manotas, and Quintero ball the fuck out. The midfield has a solid year, and the defense doesn’t give up 57 goals again.
Offseason Moves
Quintero, Quintero, and that’s all. Where is the defense? Where is the midfield? Opening up some of that beard money shouldn’t be that hard. Tell him to stay away from the strip club for 1 month, and boom, you could probably get a natural no. 10, or a proper CB.
DaMarcus Beasley is the biggest player leaving. Or retiring. Same thing. America’s greatest left-footed player? The iron man spent 5 years in Houston, his longest tenor with any team in his 20-year career.
Starting Lineup
The offense is the only thing notable. I am excited to see how Quintero fits in. Do they play Martinez out wide and let Quintero play behind Manotas? Does he play the whole year on the wing? Not only that, can the defense, hold up their end?
Can either Struna or Figueroa or even a Cabrera play at an MLS Best XI level (probably not)? I think the midfield can be okay. The goal here should be to finish middle of the pack and not last. And for the love of god can a team sign a goalie with some actual playing time?
Betting Odds
Yeah, if any of this shit actually sticks to the wall, we’re looking at a big haul. Unfortunately, I never said anything about an MLS Cup championship. No. I would say there is a ZERO percent chance they can win an MLS Championship this year. Maybe a US Open championship, but not the league.
Best Watches
H-Town’s 2020 schedule is gonna be in my eyes an exact opposite of 2019. Rather than starting off hot, this team won’t find its feet until the later end of the season. Tab’s spice on the team won’t hit until later. He may say he has gotten used to the change of pace from the national teams. But it’s a different animal.
I’ll assume that Houston’s more important games will be towards the end of the season. If they can finish the season strong maybe win 5 of their last 7, they’ll be somewhere in that 5-7 spot. If all they get is a win at Vancouver and vs SKC, then they could never have been contenders for a playoff spot.
Predictions
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFOracFClBg?start=19]
This blog is probably among my worst takes. But I root for the underdogs. I can read the headlines already. “Houston scores 60+ goals while also conceding 50+ goals, good enough for 5th in the west.” Sounds dumb, but so does being basic and giving the 5th seed to Minnesota. Yuck.
I think Tab Ramos gets ahold of this team mid-season. I think we might be seeing a top 3 finisher in the golden boot race this season. And when it’s all said and done, after they bring in some loan players in the summer, Houston will be playing in the playoffs.
Hey! If you hated this blog! You’re gonna hate the other 25 blogs! Be sure to check them out as I count down each MLS team from worst to first for 2020