I Don’t Understand All The Hate On The MLS 25th Season Uniforms

/ American Soccer, MLS / By

Just like all of MLS Twitter, I spent all day waiting for the MLS kit reveal. I don’t know why I wanted to see them considering I seen all of them leaked prior to yesterday. Nonetheless, I spent my day at school daydreaming of the boatload of memes coming out after Ninja walks the runway. Maybe it was just me being an idiot, but when they announced that it would go live at 8:30 pm EST, I just assumed it was a show.

Sadly it was not. No Dude Perfect trick shots would be seen. No DeAndre Hopkins catching a soccer ball from Commish Garber. No. It was just them posting pictures and shit about the event. I thought we were the meme-able league? Remember when Nashville did this?

All that potential wasted on pictures. P-fucking-U. Way to bore it up. And on the uniforms, I don’t hate them. Look, teams are bound to put out boring t-shirts eventually. Have you seen kits around the world?

These aren’t exactly groundbreaking kits. Not everyone can put out a jersey with the innovation of Nigeria every year. Which brings me to this season MLS jerseys. No 2 uniforms are alike. Well except for Nashville and Columbus, but those uni’s are not apart of yesterday’s presentation. So what’s the big fucking idea? What’s with the hate? I could guarantee that even if 10 different concepts for every team were presented, half of you would still complain. How about we let the “professionals,” do their job.

Instead, can we maybe appreciate some of these jerseys that aren’t that bad?

The “Actually Pretty Nice”

I can’t hate this one. Reminds me of the 2000 Barcelona jersey. Remember when this concept came out everyone went apeshit lmao.

Maybe it’s just me, but this is a dope jersey. A pretty sweet way of incorporating the sponsor with the jersey. Could do without the Walmart Skip Bayless, but the jersey is nice.

Gotta respect Target for this. How did a company just see a bullseye and think, “that works.” Well, guess what? It does work. Especially when you bring out a cute pup.

I wish maybe they gave a nod to the Kansas City Wizards. But the backdrop of the stars is pretty sick.

The zzzzzz Boring

Year 25 isn’t when you go simple. Gotta go all out. Give a nod to the early years. Especially being one of the OG’s of the MLS. Can’t go boring.

A team with all the hype. The perennial favorites to win the whole damn thing. Apart from the basic ass jersey, you couldn’t even get the popular Hank to model? I get that Colin is no schlub but, cmon. You got all of LA to model this and you chose Colin Fucking Hanks. Gotta be better.

I mean, are you kidding me? David Beckham. You have unquestionably the best looking soccer player of all-time, and you chose kids? Also, that jersey has got to be the worst jersey in MLS history. The black and pink colorway has got possibly the best potential of all, and that’s what came out? Yuck.

You can’t be Music City and have zero music notes on your inaugural jersey. So fucking boring.

Hahaha. What?

The You Tried Way Too Hard

I know everyone already knew about the Watermelon kit. I don’t actually hate it, but if I put it with the “pretty goods,” I’ll get crucified even MORE. Better play it safe.

I just don’t see how that jersey means RSL? Like we get the colors but… Was it just to not get confused with Chicago Fire’s jersey?

DeAndre Hopkins is enjoying is off-season huh?

This is a dope jersey for a team that dominates the league consistently. That oozes Championships. You can’t win once and just be bling-bling flashy. You just can’t.

Everyone Else… Meh

I don’t really have beef with everyone else. Colorado’s kit is clean and is as Colorado Rapids as it gets. Don’t hate Portland. Philadelphia, meh. Lots of mehs. How about Chicago Fire giving a big FUCK YOU to MLS’ theme. “Oh word, you were serious about that three stripes thing?” MLS was like yeah fuck yall, and scratched them from all post. Like I said, I didn’t hate all of the uniforms. Sure some were crap, but sometimes you either hit or you miss.

 

 

 

 

 

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