It sounds like the build-up to a great joke. A Dutch, with some Australians, walk into a Russian Bar. After a so-so performance against Honduras for a spot in PutinMania, the Socceroos find themselves in a tricky group. France should finish first without a hiccup, but after that, the 2nd spot isn’t as clear. Don’t get me wrong, Peru is actually good, but Denmark could prove to be a tough matchup. And rounding out the bottom, Australia has a chance to surprise EVERYONE. Look, I’m not saying they’re brilliant, nor will I say they are a lock to get out of the group. BUT, playing against France in the first game of group stage is huge. They have a chance to shock Peru, who struggled to get much against New Zealand, in their last game, and depending on the result with Denmark, Australia does have a shot of getting into the knockout round. Luckily, this group is much more manageable than that of Brazil 2014, where the Aussies got stuck with Spain, Chile, and the Netherlands. Yikes.
There isn’t much to say about the Socceroos, who aren’t really known for soccer. Apart from Tim Cahill and Harry Kewell, the list of globally impactful players is very, very, very, slim. Maybe Aaron Mooy, maybe. Even him, most casual viewers will be like, “Who the fuck is that guy?” But us die-hards, or at least the FUT players will be very familiar with our Bald friend. Pending Mooy’s nasty injury, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, and send him on his way to Russia, your welcome Aaron.
Goalkeepers
Matthew Ryan, Mitchell Langerak, Daniel Margush
Brighton & Hove Albion’s keeper has recently bounced out of the NFL’s playoff and will now be Australia’s number 1. Yup.
Defenders
Trent Sainsbury, Ryan Mcgowen, Aziz Behich, Bailey Wright, Milos Degenek, Josh Risdon, Matthew Jurman, Alex Gersbach, Michael Zullo
Ryan Mcgowen will not be able to convince van Marwijk that his brother is good enough for the team, sorry Danny.
Midfielders
Mile Jedinak, Mark Milligan, Aaron Mooy, Massimo Luongo, Tom Rogic, Jackson Irvine,
Mile Jedinak went to the store and bought himself a clutch gene before his hattrick performance to send Australia to Russia. All on set pieces too.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2tmftLN2lY]
Forwards
Tim Cahill, Robbie Kruse, Matthew Leckie, Tom Juric, James Troisi,
Tim Cahill is pushing 40 years and isn’t exactly an extreme threat nowadays, but being Australia’s all-time leading scorer is enough to get you there. Unless the new Gaffer is a douche, in that case, bye bye Cahill. Don’t expect a full 90 from him, but his experience will prove useful for the Socceroos comes June.
There you have it, a copy and paste type of prediction. Sue me. “Hey, @SenorBautista this blog was shit. Nothing can be worse than this.” If you think this blog is shit, tune into the Morrocco or Tunisia blogs, you’ll never know what hit you. Remeber to finish your Valentine’s date up early, PSG vs Madrid are about to duel it out in Champions League battle, until then, stay up.