23. Can Thierry Henry Win The Hearts Of The Quebecois?

/ American Soccer, MLS / By

Montreal is really only known for 3 things.

  1. Poutine
  2. William Shatner

AND

3. Montreal Impact losing to 2 games to FC Cincinnati last year

I have the utmost respect for Thierry Henry. I think he’s one of the greatest players of all-time. Really the history of soccer cannot be written without Thierry Henry, both here in the MLS and around the world. But let’s be honest. Thierry Henry as a coach is… well he was a great soccer player. I’ll make one promise for the rest of this blog, I will not make a single reference to Monaco. No this is a professional website. I wouldn’t stoop so low and pick low hanging fruit. No this company (not a real company) is about shaking hands, kissing babies, and respecting our elders (DAMMIT).

2016… what a year!

The Good: 2019 was not bad if you just scrap the second half of the season. Piatti, when healthy, played very very well. Bojan Krkic had his moments in his short time. I thought Orji Okwonko played fantastic given the situation of him really just being on his own. Oh, and they won a Voyager Cup whatever the hell that is.

The Bad:  Inconsistency. Piatti getting injured and the team falling apart. 3 coaches in a calendar year. And goalkeeping. Somebody get this team a goalie.

Montreal’s Spongebob GIF 2020

“Hey Impact fans! We hired Thierry He…” Yeah. I’m very very worried this hiring is gonna blow up in their face. You try to sell tickets, and potentially are gonna lose fans? I don’t think that’s the best trade-off. I so badly want to fast forward to the end of the season to see how this plays out. Henry’s only season as a coach went… well it happened and it ended very quickly. This was a risky move by sporting director Oliver Renard and I think it won’t pay off.

Offseason Moves

Retaining Oriji Okwonko was incredibly important, and according to reports, they have a buying option at the end of the season. Obviously losing Nacho Piatti is incredibly tough. The best player in the history of the franchise was no pushover. Piatti’s 6 years of greatness has been cut short by inconsistent play, and almost no surrounding talent. Unfortunately, Piatti only got to see 2 years of success with Montreal, and it sucks that his talents were wasted.

Completing Brault-Guillard’s transfer was also important. Having someone learn behind a great fullback in Bacary Sagna and losing him would have been a disservice to them. But I just don’t think Montreal has done enough. Get some fucking talent around Urruti and Bojan.

Starting Lineup

Defense. Defense. Defense. They need another, MAYBE 2 CB’s. The midfield is as set as can be. I would argue definitely a top 5 midfield in the league. Up top though, Urruti is gonna have to step it the fuck up. With Piatti out, Urruti and whoever the hell is playing on the wing not named Okwonko, are either gonna be replaced, or are gonna lead this team to the worst season Montreal has ever seen. Though I do see them hauling in someone in the summer stopping that.

Betting Odds

+1600 via Bovada

SIXTEEN FUCKING HUNDRED! These schmucks are about 20-to-1 odds. Are you kidding me? Who is making these odds? Trying to rob the good Quebecois people of their money. They got poutine and beer to spend it on. Don’t give them the false hopes of actually winning this year.

Best Watches

Congratulations, you don’t have to watch a single Montreal game until week 4. But give me all the French Canadian-Canadian rival matches. And that decision day game vs Cincinnati. A team that a year ago they couldn’t beat the worst team in the MLS. In TWO games, they couldn’t beat a team that conceded 75 goals. As bad as Henry was in Monaco, there is no way he’s ‘losing to the 2019 FC Cincinnati’ bad.

Predictions

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFOracFClBg?start=19]

Montreal Impact is gonna be a story to follow this season, solely to see if Thierry Henry is gonna fuck up like he did in Monaco vs well, the opposite. I think Montreal will try and sign a replacement for Piatti. I think they’ll fail on getting a talented enough DP. I think Montreal will not make the playoffs.

I’m gonna be honest. Of ALL my predictions, and as much shit as you want to give me, I’ve got a nice amount of predictions correct in the last 2 years, this one. This one right here is the one I’m most worried about. My read on Henry and the Impact in general just isn’t clear. I was not gonna use all my college French education to scour the internet for French-Canadian hit pieces. But my heart tells me, Thierry Henry is not a coach, and will never win the hearts of the Quebecois.

Hey! If you hated this blog! You’re gonna hate the next 25 blogs! Be sure to check them out as I count down each MLS team from worst to first for 2020.

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